I went to a really artsy school where, until sixth grade, they have this thing called ‘Creative Spelling,’ where they don’t correct kids when they spell things wrong because they want to help them foster their creativity. Kids go to sixth grade and they don’t know how to fucking spell anything. That, to me, is such a representation of what this generation is like. Everyone gets a trophy, ‘A’ for effort, you don’t need to learn how to spell.
Just. Okay. So. Everyone knows that there are some ridiculously gorgeous people in the world. Right? Right. Not every person that is considered gorgeous by one or a few or many or millions of people is going to be considered even remotely good looking by everyone. That was worded very awkwardly. The point is that gorgeous to one person is average or not at all appealing to someone else.
But do you ever see someone and it’s like a kick to the chest, and your stomach actually hurts a little bit with how stunningly gorgeous that person is? Stunning. Literally. They’re so pleasing to look at through your eyes that you are, by definition, momentarily stunned by them. And you have no idea whether or not they’re aware of their gorgeousness, and even if they have some idea, because how can someone be that beautiful and not have had at least one person try to put it into words for them, you’re not entirely convinced that they can actually comprehend just how goddamn brain-addlingly gorgeous they are.
This kick to the chest brain addlement doesn’t happen very often to me at all. I very rarely have to jumpstart my brain, or pretend that I meant to trip over nothing, or turn to share a look with whomever I’m with like “holy crap did you see that person what the hell?”, or remind myself to pick my jaw up off the floor, or wonder what that sound that just came out of my mouth was (a strange combination of vowels and “whaaaaaat?” and maybe a sharp inhalation).
Every now and then, though… Bam. Kick straight to the chest. And there’s this immediate shyness that happens. And if it were an acceptable thing to do, I would probably just sit there and study their face and their eyes. Just sort of take it all in and appreciate it. Them.
I’ve always been a bit bummed out about the part of life where it’s not really acceptable to just start are people. I’m the sort of person who likes to be able to look at things that I find interesting. I’ve long wanted to be able to sit someone down, park myself across from them (very close), and stare at their irises, and their eyebrows, and the bridge of their nose, and their chin, and their lips, and their jaw, and their everything. Just look and notice and see. And try to keep my hands to myself. Because I am someone who needs to be able to touch something in order to understand it, to feel like I’ve actually seen it.
I’m not sure where I was going with this, but rambling is another side effect of encountering such gorgeousness.